Hopeless Prince Charming

ove,We all hope for that one moment. Just a chance, so you can succeed or fail. At least that way, it was in your control. Never getting a chance and never knowing for sure is worse than failing.

I saw a gorgeous sunset mixed with shades of amber, orange, and red.
I saw the future start to play out inside of my head.
I saw you and I watching it together; the sunset burning away a perfect day of weather.
When I see this, I see you.

I saw the ocean waves glimmering with reflections.
I saw something in my head that basically rivaled perfection.
I saw you and I at a beach, practicing all of the cute things that I preach.
When I see this, I see you.

I saw the city bursting with life; people moving fast.
There were hopes in my head that things won’t be like they’ve been in the past.
I saw you and I on a spontaneous adventure, with plans to make it last.
When I see this, I see you.

I saw an empty room, with a soft couch and blankets even softer.
There were hopes that you would take me up on my offer.
The way it played out in my head, we made that couch our bed.
When I see this, I see you inside of my head. 

We get our hopes up. Then we’re let down. After it happens enough, you get to the point where you try as hard as you can to avoid developing feelings for someone. That’s where I’m at right about now. I wish I could have at least some kind of interest in people. I certainly care about others, I’m just to a point where I have no expectations. If there are no expectations, you can’t be let down.

With my writing, recently I have shown a different side of me (if you’re friends with me on Facebook) - a side that all of us have. But at the end of the day, I’m always going to be the sweet, loving guy that I’ve promised myself I would be when I find someone special to me. Love can include this, along with those things that aren’t talked about as much in an open manner - such as taking out your passion for someone on them in a physical manner. That’s the way I view things at least. I’m always going to be honest and open about this stuff. Anyone who denies that they have several sides to them is not being truthful.

All in all, I’m just disappointed that I’ve never been in love. It’s been such a long, passionate quest. I know a lot of people have given up on it, but I’m not prepared to do that. I realize that life is harsh sometimes and people try to cope with it in various ways. But I TRULY believe real love exists. I believe that from the bottom of my heart, and I’m never going to give up on turning it into a reality for myself and someone I share those feelings with.

I don’t want to act like a “tough guy” who has no emotions. I know I need to be strong, but I’m content with who I am, and I hope someday, someone sees the potential in me to become a major part of their life.

We all want to be loved. We all have a desire deep down inside of us that makes us crave acceptance, no matter how we appear to others on the outside by our appearance/actions.

What if love all of a sudden found you? Totally unexpected and out of the blue. How would you handle it?

It’s surreal to think about. I could wake up tomorrow and go out into public and stumble into someone that I have an instant connection with. Life would change.

All of a sudden, all of my anxiety would be gone. All of a sudden, there would be something I look forward to every day. Obviously some of these things would take time to develop, but what if that first step was presented to you tomorrow? By total chance.

The scary thing (in a good way) is, that’s probably how you’re going to find love. One day, you’re going to meet someone that intrigues you. You’re going to pursue it. And something might come of it. Something AMAZING might come of it. So, I guess this is a reminder that we need to keep our chins up and place hope in the future. I know I have a lot of lonely nights that really suck, and I’m sure you do too, but someday, everything will change - forever.

It’s a random thought I had recently. Someone enters a relationship, and just because they hold that title, they end a conversation with, “I love you”, in a matter of a few days.

To me, love is something more. Love is something that takes a while to develop. When you’re finally to the point where you’ve endured a lot as a couple - and have an unrivaled compassion for each other, then love is a valid word to use.

I can’t wait for the day where I get to say those three powerful words for the very first time. It will be in a way that’s sincere. And it’s just surreal to think about how amazing it will be to finally make it to that point after all of these days and nights of ups and downs.

<3